So claire and I got back together, stayed in dundee for a while, and now we are back home again, having problems!
I knew it would happen but she didn't seem to be think so or be that bothered, I wanted to suggest that we maybe put a bit of extra effort into seeing each other but without her agreeing that we might not make it through i didn't want to put any more pressure on things.
It's my fault that things are so shit. I've been so jealous lately and have been expecting her to give me the love i dont have for myself.
What happened was basically that we were to spend the night together the night before xmas eve, we went to a gig and then back to robs house, tom turned up and captain jealousy arrived with him. So i left, expecting claire to follow me because , well i was uncomfortable and it was late enough anyway, we had had a good(ish) night. I ended up walking the 3 or 4 miles home to my own house rather than the 30 yards to hers because she stayed. I was absoutley gutted and so angry that I called this guys girlfriend (who happens to be my ex) and told her what happened between claire and tom.
Because she hasn't spoken to me really in the past 4 days, I dont know what happened, but claire told me i ruined her christmass, debbies, and I have strained alot of friendships.
I've been sat here on my bed for the past four days, the ONLY thing i've wanted to do is see my girlfriend, and if i had of got to do that none of this would have happened. I mean i think that's what it comes down to, it seems pretty stupid but it seems that is what is at the root of most of our arguements, me not feeling loved enough or feeling like im second best, feeling like shed rather be spending time with other people, when she lives with me for christ sake!
god this fucking sucks because I cant even write this where I want to because she has found out my username on pretty much every forum i go onto.
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