fuivh

So a few days have passed, im feeling suprisingly alright about the whole thing.

I've booked to fly back to dundee on sunday, so a good ten days before I was supposed to. Flying into edinburgh and louise is going to pick me up, what an absolute gem. I'm really chuffed with how im handling this all.

I know I fucked up very badly at first. Really badly and it's one of the reasons I wanted to get out of here. If im in dundee I can keep myself busy, and I can go to counselling. I seem to get pretty bad when I don't. Getting back early will give me a chance to get everything tidied up. Sort out my room, Probobly get a nice big TV for it, or at least sort out something whereby it's changed around. I want a proper fresh start. 

Also going to start looking for a place to live next year, Im undecided about wether or not i want to live with claire next year. I'll see how things are after living with her for a month or so before I really get active in looking. I quite like the idea of not living with her, some fresh faces would be good I guess, some people who tidy would be nice too!

I bought her headphones for christmass, I know we said we wernt going to get each other anything until after xmas but I had got these as I thought she might want them for flying. I didn't get the chance to give them to her and she's made her feelings clear, so i've just kept them and they are FANTASTIC! best headphones i've ever had, definately going to be holding onto these bad boys. Got tonnes of new music lately which is allways good. I know that i'll probobly end up hating it after a bit because ill associate it with this time in my life, but I got most of it after it all happened, so maybe ill associate with the more recent good parts. 

That's all for now I guess, I just want to put this down so that when I feel shit again I can come back and see that I can feel allright!

Wish I was getting better sleep though!