argh!

The fucking crying has started again! FUCK SAKE!

I got a PM from a member on trials forum giving me advice about meditation and yoga, he must have spent a good 20 minutes writing it out and it is that, i think, which has made me cry, AGAIN i am feeling like I don't deserve people to do that sort of thing for me, but at the same time its all i fucking want!

Im trying to pick myself up today and go into town and this is just another fucking set back pushing me back another half hour or so.

I am going to go to town and buy myself something in an effort to cheer myself up. I want some new thing to play with to keep me busy. Going to go to the chemist and get some sleeping tablets and maybe something to cheer me up a bit. At this stage I wish I had brought my AD's from uni back home because im almost beyond the point of caring, i know they will push me over and while i know ill not feel anything, id rather that than feeling shit.  

Time to get the fuck outta here and sort myself out.