last few days

So the last few days have been alright I guess, a bit shit in some aspects but alright in others. I went to watch the football match between N. Ireland and scotland with my ex/best friend/flat-mate. It was a brilliant night out. We went for dinner first and a few drinks, then to the pub my mum and dad used to drink in all the time. It ended up being just the two of us most of the night until our friend arrived. We had a few really great chat's and I managed to explain to her part of why I have been feeling so bad. 

Explained to her that I had been given the medication but didn't want to take it anymore, and she had a few good things to say about it all.

I walked her most of they way home until one of her friends drove past and offered her a lift, she pretty much just jumped in and left without saying goodbye, so I felt a little shit, we text each other while I was walking home and she said that she wished she could have stayed up late talking to me, not about anything in particular, but it was nice to know we still have a good friendship if nothing else. there were a few moments during the night when I could have just leant over and kissed her, she looked great, and was being great company, but I didn't. 

We arranged when texting to see each other the following day, but we ended up deciding not to as we were both tired and I didn't want her to come out just because I wanted to, I wanted her to want to. Then last night she asked me out with her and two of her friends, I had work at 7 this morning so declined but haven't heard anything from her since, she didn't even reply to say ok about me not going, and I sent her a message before work this morning to say I hope she didn't feel slighted by me not going out(shitty friends was something we talked about alot when we were out watching the football.) still no word from her, which actually worries me because it's not like her.

So now I'm sitting here on a saturday night, my mate has said he would phone me back in 15 minutes, that was 20 minutes ago, on my fucking own in my room again, refreshing pages of forums because I'm so fucking bored.

I don't enjoy being at home much, I feel like I have very few friends, maybe 3, two of which I have to contact if I ever want to see them, the third being my ex girlfriend.

I also got a job offer yesterday. If I had of got that phone call 6 weeks ago i'd probably have been on a driving lesson today, because i'd need to have a license to drive around ireland drawing schematics of fire alarm and sprinkler systems for a huge company. I think i am going to struggle on and stay in dundee for another year. It's where my friends are and I really feel like I need alot of friends right now, bangor is shit :-(